My Darkest Road
by Dreamlover1102
Summary: Sometimes, in order to understand the way things are and to accept them, you gotta walk a mile in someone else's shoes. ROMY


**A/N: If you're reading this...it means I'm procrastinating again...heh...There's some cuss words in this story. If you are not comfortable with that...don't read it...Also I don't know much about Tarot cards...sooo...sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I own the X-men! Oh look...the men in the lab coats are back. I mean, I don't own the X-men!**

**...**

She couldn't fucking believe it.

It was un-fuckin-believable!

He had left.

AGAIN!

Rogue shook her head, her two-tone hair swinging around in her fury as she clenched and unclenched her fists. She growled, kicking at the music box he had gotten her as some way of appeasing her for leaving again.

It didn't appease her. That much was sure. In fact, Rogue was so furious with one Remy Lebeau, she wanted nothing more than to hunt his stupid, no-good, rotten, snake-charming ass down. Right. This. Minute. And shove the stupid music box down his lying throat.

Finally, after smashing the music box until it was little more than a pile of wood, wires, and metal, Rogue let out a breath. She saw something sticking out of the pile and picked it up.

The Queen of Hearts.

This was Remy's version of a get out of jail free card. His salvation. His apology whenever he knew he had messed shit up.

Rogue glared at it.

_Not this time, Swamp Rat! _She ranted in her head.

Not this time, indeed. She was tired of it. Sick of the arguing, sick of the fighting, tired of him always leaving unexpectedly and coming home a week or two later looking like the cat who swallowed the canary. God only knew what that boy got up to while he was away.

She had been tempted plenty of times to absorb him to find out but her conscience wouldn't allow it. Everytime she tried to pry information out of him, he always managed to not answer questions directly, _and _somehow get back into her good graces. Rogue didn't understand how he did it, but she was tired of it.

She was through with Remy Lebeau! Done with all the bullshit he put her through.

Rogue glanced down at the card again. No get out of jail free card this time. She ripped the card to pieces and let the thin scraps of paper scatter across the floor to join the mess of a music box.

When she was satisfied, she stood and walked over to her closet. Digging around in the back, her hand came across her duffle bag, and she pulled it out. Some dust and lint clung to the bag for being forgotten for so long and she brushed it away, letting out a sigh.

She began scouring her closet, pulling clothes out and throwing them haphazardly into her duffle. She stepped over the mess on her floor and made her way to her dresser to do the same.

After a few minutes, a knock sounded at the door.

"Come in." She called, not stopping in her hurry to pack her bags and get the hell out of dodge.

"Going somewhere, Stripes?" A gruff voice came from the doorway. Rogue looked up to see Logan. He glanced at the broken music box and ripped up playing card and raised a brow.

"As matter of fact, Ah am." She replied.

Logan crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway.

"This have something to do with Gumbo leavin' again?" He asked.

Rogue zipped her bag up, and turned to face Wolverine. She cocked her hip and crossed her arms.

"What of it?" She glared, daring him to lecture her. Her pretty painted lips were set in a defiant scowl.

He cocked an eyebrow, saying nothing, and waited. After a few minutes of tense silence, Rogue finally sighed.

"Ah just need tah get away for awhile." She muttered. Her stance changed to defeat and she crumpled onto her bed.

Logan walked over and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and gave him a half smirk.

"If he can leave whenever he feels like it, so can Ah. Ah'm sick of him expectin' he can just waltz right back into mah life and all is forgiven." Rogue clenched her eyes shut and dropped her head back down to look at her gloved covered hands.

Logan grunted, and pulled out a set of keys. He dropped them into her lap, and waited until she looked at him again. Hope danced in her emerald green eyes.

"Just be careful, Kid."

Rogue leapt from her bed and flung her arms around Logan.

"Thank yah!" She mumbled into his chest. He smirked and she pulled away to grab her bag and snatch Logan's keys that had fallen to the floor.

"Just promise you'll check in, Darlin', or I'll hunt ya down and drag you back." Logan warned.

Rogue promised, and grabbed her wallet from her nightstand. She flipped it open, checking to make sure she had her ID and her debit card full of the money she had been saving up. She refused to acknowledge the fact that the money had been saved for a trip to Los Vegas she had planned with Remy.

Actually, now that she thought about it, she was glad. What better way to get back at that Bayou Trash than to spend the money on a trip for herself?

With that thought in mind, she slipped the wallet into the pocket of her leather jacket and turned on her heal. Logan walked with her out of her room and down the hallway. She stopped at the beginning of the stairs and turned to face him.

"Thank yah, Sugah. Ah don't know where Ah'd be without yah." She smiled at him, and reached out to give him another hug.

"Yeah, Yeah. Go on now, before I change my mind."

Rogue laughed and trotted down the stairs in route for the garage.

Logan sighed, turned around, and stalked back toward his room. That kid had him wrapped around her little finger whether he liked it or not.

**...**

Rogue had intentions of taking Logan's bike when she had entered the garage but ran into two problems. One, where was her duffle going to go? And two, It was the middle of October and the air was chilli outside.

She glanced down at the set of keys and smirked.

Of course Logan would hand her the set of keys for both his bike _and _his jeep. He knew her too well.

She tossed her bag into the back, and climbed into the jeep. After opening the garage door, Rogue drove down the long, curvy drive way of the Xavier's mansion. The gate swung open and once she was sure she was a good distance away, she floored it.

Rogue let out a peal of laughter, reaching over to fiddle with the radio until she came across something she liked. She cranked the volume up and sped on down the highway.

She didn't know where she was headed, and had no idea when she'd be back. All she knew was she left the anger and bitterness of a relationship long passed its experation date behind the moment she drove through those vine-covered gates.

And she felt as free as a bird.*

_Goodbye, Remy Lebeau._

**...**

Rogue stopped in a small, probably-not-even-on-a-map, run-down town for some food, and somewhere to sleep for the night. The man working the counter at the hotel hadn't even looked up from the newspaper he was reading as he took her money, and slid the key across the counter.

"Room 126." He grumbled. She thanked him and walked back to her jeep to park in the spot in front of her room.

Some people on the floor above hers were in some kind of argument. Rogue could hear a woman screaming while a baby cried in the background. She cringed and scrambled into her room quickly to drop her duffle bag off.

The room was simple, kind of dumpy but otherwise looked clean. She smiled at the blandness, and pulled out some clothes from her bag. She headed for the bathroom to take a nice, long, hot shower and then maybe try to find a 24 hour diner of some sort.

Half hour later, Rogue stepped out of the shower, cleaned, refreshed and starving. She snatched the keys to the jeep, her room key, and her wallet and made her way outside. The people above had stopped arguing and the parking lot was quiet.

As she drove down the street, Rogue stumbled across a diner, and pulled into the parking lot quickly, her mind picturing all the deicious food she could get her hands on. She ordered, ate, and paid in silence. She returned back to her hotel room and crashed on the bed, too tired to even change her clothes or pull off her gloves.

**...**

The morning sunlight came through her window, and scattered across her closed eyelids. She rubbed her eyes groggily and blinked away the blurriness of sleep.

She glanced around the room in confusion, wondering where she was until her eyes spotted her duffle bag.

_Oh yeah...Ah decided not tah stick around and wait this time..._

Rogue closed her eyes again and let her head fall back onto the pillow. Her chest felt heavy and she squeazed her eyes to fight off the tears. The anger of yesterday was gone, and in its place was sadness.

She had left him behind. She had ended it. Put a stop to the never ending cycle her and Remy were in.

A sob racked her body and the tears slipped through he closed eyes and ran down her cheek. Memories of all the fights, and all the good times her and Remy had ran around in her head. And as the memories played she counted the days. They reached 362. Their one year anniversary was in three days and that's when she opened her eyes and the tears stopped.

That's why she left. That's why she ended it. He had taken off four days before their anniversary and when Remy Lebeau took off it was always for a week or two. He wouldn't have been there on their one year anniversary. Either he had forgotten or he just didn't care.

And damn if she was going to be there either.

Rogue swipped at her cheeks angerly, and pushed herself off the bed. She dressed quickly, made sure she packed everything, and yanked the door open. The sun was bright against her eyes and she squinted against it. She stomped toward Logan's jeep and shoved her bag into the back. She jumped in, pulled away from the curb and only stopped long enough to return the room key at the office.

_To hell with Remy Lebeau and his empty promises._

**...**

A week had passed.

Rogue stood in the clothing store admiring a curve fitting black trench coat, struggling internally with herself about buying it. One the one hand, she looked incredibly good in it. On the other, it was a trench coat and reminded her of Remy.

She huffed, pulled it off the rack and put the coat into her shopping cart. She wasn't going to not buy clothes she liked just because they reminded her of Remy. She was moving on, damn it. She grabbed another shirt off the rack and dropped it in her cart as well.

Rogue had been gone for a week, and if she was being honest with herself, this week had been great. Yes, her thoughts always seemed to drift to Remy but she still had no intentions of returning to the mansion. She just didn't feel like she could yet.

She checked in with Logan every few days and if Remy had returned, Logan never mentioned him. In fact, they avoided the topic of Gambit all together. Kitty had sobbed into the phone after she had phazed it out of Logan's hand, and begged Rogue to come back. Rogue told her no, she didn't feel ready yet, and promised her that she would return eventually. Kitty had accepted this answer and wished her a good trip.

Rogue got a few calls from numbers she didn't recognize but whenever she answered the phone, the person had already hung up. She had wondered if it had been him but then promptly shut that train of thought down. Forget him. If he wanted to talk to her so bad, he wouldn't hang up whenever she answered.

After buying her new clothes, Rogue stepped out of the store and headed up the street for the small cafe on the corner. A nice hot coffee on this chilli autum day sounded like a great plan.

She ordered and sat down, her gloved fingers wrapped around the mug for warmth. She blew across the surface, and breathed in the heavy aroma of coffee. She felt the tension in her shoulders ease, and she let a small smile cross her face. She felt a peace settle over her and

It was about then that she noticed the tune coming from the speakers mounted on the walls around the coffee shop. She let out a quiet snort when she recognized the jazzy song playing was one of Remy's favorites.

Great.

_What does it take for a gal tah get some peace?_

She let out a long, suffering sigh and drank her coffee quickly. It burned a little down her throat and she frowned.

_Stupid, no good, snake-charmin', Swamp Rat! Yah managed tah ruin mah day and yah ain't even here._

With that, Rogue finished the last of her coffee and stomped out of the coffee shop.

**...**

Rogue had never been to a flea market before. She made her way down the rows of people offering crazy knick-knacks and all sorts of other things, and she decided she rather liked flea markets. As she wondered around she came across a lady sitting quietly in the far left corner of the building. Tarot cards lay out on the silk cloth in front of her. The woman's intelligent blue eyes met Rogue's green and she beckoned her forward with a hand. Rogue approached her, sitting down across from her.

"Ye are troubled soul, child. Many thoughts and feelings that do not belong to ye swirl across yer aura." The lady's voice was smooth as a saxaphone and Rogue felt it lull her.

She didn't speak, just nodded.

"Would ye like me to read yer future in the cards?" She asked. Rogue nodded again, reaching to pull her wallet out but the woman shook her head.

"Ye do not have to pay," She smiled, and Rogue smiled back, "Now pick up the cards, child."

Rogue did as she was told, picking up the deck of cards and looked back at the woman for further instructions.

"Shuffle them, and then put three cards, face down, in a row in front of ye." She informed. Rogue nodded and began shuffling the cards. When she was done, she placed three cards face down in front of her, lined up, and put the remaining deck a few inches away.

The woman flipped the first card over. The Seven of Swords (upright) glinted in the light, and Rogue was confused of the meaning. The woman explained that the first card represented the Past.

"The Seven of Swords represents betrayal of some kind. Ye were betrayed by someone in the past, and that had left ye guarded and unsure." Her voice was soft, and Rogue had a nervous feeling the woman knew exactly what had happened to Rogue.

Rogue nodded, feeling the familiar pang in her heart of the thought of Mystique. It had been at least two years since then but it still bothered her.

The woman continued, flipping the second card. This was the Present. The Lovers (reversed) stared back at Rogue and felt her heart constrict.

"The Lovers reversed represents unreliablity, seperation, and fickleness." Here the woman looked up and gave Rogue a meaningful look. Rogue swallowed passed the lump in her throat. The woman didn't say anything else, and Rogue was starting to wonder if the woman was a mutant. How did she know so much?

The woman reached out and flipped the last card over. The High Priestess (upright). Her Future. The woman gave Rogue a small smile and Rogue felt some of her anxiety slip away.

"The High Priestess represents knowledge, and understanding. It could also mean an older woman who influences ye." Her piercing blue gaze settled on Rogue.

Knowledge and understanding seemed like good options for the future. The sense of dread disappeared and Rogue thanked the woman before departing.

She wasn't sure how this would play out but her future didn't seem so bleak anymore.

**...**

Uncertainty.

_Maybe Ah shouldah stayed..._

Anger.

_No. Ah had every right tah leave. _

Depression.

_Oh Remy, yah haven't even bothered tah call. _(She refused to count the times he called and hung up)

Uncertainty again.

_Maybe Ah should go home..._

Anger again.

_Nope. Not yet._

Depression again.

_Why do yah keep hauntin' meh?_

The viscious cycle continued. The same circle of thoughts that kept swirling through her mind for the last four weeks since she left. She could hardly concentrate on anything without having Remy popping into her thoughts.

_Damn him!_

Rogue glared at the set of keys on the coffee table next to the bed. The glittered in the morning sunlight as the sun reflected off the metal. Rogue continued her debate.

Should she go home yet or not?

**...**

Another day, another hundred miles closer to home. The debate with herself had lasted two more days until finally, she felt she couldn't go another day without Kitty's girly chatter, or Bobby's pranks, or Jubilee's annoying need to chew bublegum. She missed Ororo's wisedom, and Logan's grunts. She even missed Scott's lectures on team work.

And deep down, Rogue admitted in her heart of hearts that she missed Remy's beautiful red on black gaze. Like he looked right passed her skin and saw Rogue for who she was and not what she could do.

After a month of close scurinty of herself, Rogue had come to an epiphany. She had felt freer for the first time in years. All she had was a duffle bag full of clothes, and souviniers, a battered old jeep, and the wind in her hair. In the end though, no matter how free she felt, home is where her heart laid. Back in her room, crumpled next to her broken music box and ripped up playing card.

But she understood now why Remy felt the need to get away. And with this realization, clarity rang around her mind. Remy may leave to get away but he always came back. Back to the home he had made in New York. Back to the hard work. Back to the X-men.

Back home to her.

And that's where to intended to go.

Home.

Rogue stopped at a gas station somewhere in New York and picked up a pack of playing cards, a smile on her face.

**...**

*** The song playing on the radio is Free Bird by Leonard Skineard (which I also don't own)**

**A/N: It's not as good as I had planned but there it is. I plan to write two more to follow this one up. Review and let me know what you think. Please? **


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